“It’s important to make someone happy, and it’s important to start with yourself” – Author unknown
In early motherhood it is a natural occurrence that your personal needs come second to your baby’s. I mean who has time to mix in self-care when you barely even have time to sleep, let alone brush your hair and take a shower. But after you move through the sleepless night phase it’s time to change things up. Let’s flip the script and really dive into the importance of putting your needs FIRST.
I know some of you are already cringing at the thought, thinking “what?? that’s selfish!” but ultimately everyone wins when you put yourself first. For some reason we have all been taught to think that putting yourself first is selfish. This is simply NOT true, it is actually very mindful because when you are fulfilled you have more love to share with those around you. Just think about the in-flight safety instructions, who do they say to give oxygen to first? Yes, the answer is YOU.
This idea translates to every aspect of your life. If you are putting work first or your relationship first and not taking of your personal needs then those other aspects of your will suffer because you are running on empty.
The equation is simple: self-care + self-love = an abundance of love to share with those around you. Otherwise, you’re just hanging out in the negative.
Self-love means setting boundaries so that you can take the time you need for yourself. This can be on a large or small scale. Meaning that there will most definitely be times when you need to let other’s needs in your family come first but that in general you continue to take the time to do the things that make you feel happy and whole as a person. Think about this as inner management, you have to manage, organize and clean up the clutter inside before you can take care of what’s on the outside.
Over the years I have been inside many different family units. I gained a unique perspective from observing the inner workings of each family. I learned many things along the way but one major component stuck out for me, which was that many women feel it is their duty as a mother to put their children first. I saw first hand how this affected their relationships with their husbands and also gave the children a great sense of entitlement. Often times I saw a sense of defeat in the dads. It was as if they did not feel that they had special place in their own home. The environment revolved around mother and child, this ultimately left the dads floundering on the outside of the family unit.
Now of course, every family is different but the lesson here is in the importance of nurturing your relationships so that you can effectively share your love with everyone.
By putting yourself first and your partner second, your little’s will then receive more love all around and you will have a happier, more connected family unit.
6 Ways to Add More YOU Into Your Daily Life:
1. Write down a list of things that make you feel good. Maybe dancing, singing, being silly etc. whatever it is try to do at least one of those things a day.
2. Think about your strengths as a mom and build on them. Whether your strength lies in being a stay at-home mom or working mom, think about how you most effectively operate so that you can maximize quality time with your children.
3. Remember it’s ok to have help! If you allow all the pressures of raising your children to fall on your shoulders it will ultimately become a load you can no longer bear. Find a babysitter leave the kids with
4. Get at least 20 mins of ME time in everyday. Try taking a bath, reading, maybe doing yoga. Whatever it is you enjoy turn it into a daily ritual.
5. Try and turn menial tasks into expression of your love for your family. This is especially important for those moms who feel they don’t spend enough quality time with their family. Transform things like folding laundry, doing dishes, cooking, into a more meaningful task. While you’re at it get your family members involved so it’s a group activity and get more quality time in.
6. Let go of the guilt and the idea that putting your needs first is selfish! Remember when you let your light shine, your children will shine even brighter.
How do you get in your self-care? Please share any rituals you have that help you nurture yourself!